Date: 12 Jul 2025
PeopleCats.Garden Official Cat Feeding Policy
PeopleCats.Garden Official Cat Feeding Policy
⬆️ PeopleCats.Garden Official Cat Feeding Policy
Updated whenever the cats decide it's outdated.
🐾 1. Feeding schedule
- Cats are to be fed when hungry, which, according to them, is always.
- If a cat claims to be starving five minutes after eating - believe them. You're late.
🐾 2. Approved food items
- Gourmet kibble that costs more than your lunch
- Wet food served at room temperature, on a ceramic dish
- Treats (because they did a thing)
- That expensive tuna you bought for yourself - it's theirs now
🐾 3. Prohibited food items
- Anything labeled "vet-approved"
- Leftovers (unless you're trying to insult them)
- Generic brand food (how dare you)
🐾 4. Feeding etiquette
- Do not make eye contact while they eat. You'll break the spell.
- Food must be served with a verbal offering: "Here you go, dinner is served, Your Majesty."
- If multiple cats are present, they all want what the other one got. Rotate plates. Begin again. Forever.
🐾 5. Midnight snacks
- Yes.
- Don't ask.
🐾 6. The "empty bowl" rule
- If a bowl is 70% full, it's 100% empty.
- Refill immediately. Apologize for the oversight.
🐾 7. Human consequences
Failure to follow these guidelines may result in:
- Judgmental stares
- Paw-swat to the face at 3 a.m.
- Strategic hairball placement
- Passive-aggressive purring near guests who like dogs
❗️Note: All policies are subject to change without notice, based on the whims of the feline board of directors.
🐈 PeopleCats.Garden #PeopleCats
🟢 Join 👉 TopTropicals
