PeopleCats.Garden Official Cat Feeding Policy

⬆️ PeopleCats.Garden Official Cat Feeding Policy

Updated whenever the cats decide it's outdated.

🐾 1. Feeding schedule

Cats are to be fed when hungry, which, according to them, is always.
If a cat claims to be starving five minutes after eating - believe them. You're late.

🐾 2. Approved food items

Gourmet kibble that costs more than your lunch
Wet food served at room temperature, on a ceramic dish
Treats (because they did a thing)
That expensive tuna you bought for yourself - it's theirs now

🐾 3. Prohibited food items

Anything labeled "vet-approved"
Leftovers (unless you're trying to insult them)
Generic brand food (how dare you)

🐾 4. Feeding etiquette

Do not make eye contact while they eat. You'll break the spell.
Food must be served with a verbal offering: "Here you go, dinner is served, Your Majesty."
If multiple cats are present, they all want what the other one got. Rotate plates. Begin again. Forever.

🐾 5. Midnight snacks

Yes.
Don't ask.

🐾 6. The "empty bowl" rule

If a bowl is 70% full, it's 100% empty.
Refill immediately. Apologize for the oversight.

🐾 7. Human consequences

Failure to follow these guidelines may result in:

Judgmental stares
Paw-swat to the face at 3 a.m.
Strategic hairball placement
Passive-aggressive purring near guests who like dogs

❗️Note: All policies are subject to change without notice, based on the whims of the feline board of directors.

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